One Punch Servo
by Empty Boundaries
Summary: In which the machine known as Father Servo finds a volume of One Punch Man amidst the ruins of civilisation.
1. Servo Rising

"Enough, I say! Show pity on an old monk!"

Despite upgrading himself into a Goliath-class Biped, the self-proclaimed machine monk's powerful attacks weren't enough to stave off an inevitable defeat.

"... Go on." 9S rolled his eyes, knowing the shameless pestering for materials that followed every battle.

"Father Servo requires a gold ore, a piece of filler metal, a pristine cable and a large battery."

"I feel like all this fighting is a big waste of time. Plus, it's starting to get _really_ expensive." The scanner unit turned to glance at his companion. "2B, what do you think?"

"It's not a waste. Our own skills improve each time we spar with this machine." The android turned her gaze upon the cracks and cuts that littered the rooftop; marks of a battle that steadily grew more intensive over time.

"Such wisdom! May the thousand blessings of a random and unspecified god rain down upon you!"

And then they were gone.

Setting his dented frame down on the ground, the machine that called itself Father Servo thought about his battles with the YoRHa units. No matter how much he upgraded his speed and strength, his opponents always defeated him. They evaded his strikes perfectly, while he couldn't dodge one of theirs. While he hits hard, they hit harder. Clearly, he would have to rely on a strategy other than modifying his body in order to defeat them.

* * *

" _Human beings are strong because we have the ability to change ourselves._ "

" _You won't survive. You just don't get what being a hero is about. There are all kinds of powerful bad guys in the world. Heroes are the ones who oppose them, even if they are alone._

" _If you really want to become strong, stop caring about what others think about you. Living your life has nothing to do with what others think._ "

" _ **100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10km run EVERY SINGLE DAY!** "_

"How informative..." Father Servo flipped through the laminated pages, witnessing the exploits of a bald human dispatching a multitude of beings in a single punch.

There was no harm in giving these training exercises and 'hero' thing a try, right?

* * *

"Say 2B, where do you think that machine went? He's usually back here a few days after a fight."

"Maybe he finally grew tired of getting slashed and pummeled by us?"

* * *

The mechanical leviathan rose out of the sea, growing larger and larger until it towered over the harbour.

"FINALLY... SOMETHING THAT MAY BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND SERVO"S STRENGTH!"

His yellow cape billowed dramatically behind him and the metal bristles that had grown from his head flowed in the wind.

He jumped, and the building he was on top of imploded.

...

"2B, this is bad!"

"You don't say."

One of the machine's arms swiped down as they leapt for their flight units. Despite it only grazing them, the attack had enough force to launch them through the air-

"Pascal!"

-only to be caught by the leader of the machine village.

"Are you alright? That machine is an ancient weapon-"

"FEAR NOT, ANDROIDS. SERVO IS HERE!"

A flash of something too fast for even their enhanced visual receptors to process.

"CONSECUTIVE NORMAL PUNCHES!"

And the titanic machine promptly exploded into pieces of scrap metal and circuits.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Proposal: the machine that is currently posing on top of that piece of sinking metal is the one known as 'Father Servo'."

"...Is that hair on his head?"

"Visual analysis suggests that the metallic fibres are positioned in the area where hair would usually occupy. Further details unknown."

* * *

.

.

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 **AN:** I don't even know why I wrote this.


	2. Rescuing 9S

_After the massive machine lifeform know as Grun was destroyed, a horde of machines attacked from the land, capturing 9S._

"YOUR A170 SCANNER IS NOT AS ACCURATE AS SERVO! I'LL RECONNECT TO THE MACHINE NETWORK TO FIND THE LOCATION OF 9S!"

2B winced in pain.

"Sure, you do that... and do you have to yell out everything you say?"

"AFTER RIGOROUS TRAINING, SERVO'S VOICE BECAME STUCK AT THIS VOLUME."

"Great."

...

Reconnecting to the machine network resulted in Servo finding himself in the metaphorical white corridors of data that was just as drab as he remembered.

Never the one for subtlety, Servo 'hacked' his way to divine 9S's location. And by that, he meant punching the symbolic walls around him to pieces as he wandered around the network.

"9S! 9S! 9S! WHERE ARE YOU? "

And every machine in the vicinity fell to the ground and started to spasm.

2B placed one hand across her face.

* * *

 _Meanwhile, in the Copied City:_

"You're thinking about how much you want to **** 2B, aren't you?"

"Stop! Stop it!"

"Reality stained by l l‹ÎD $0(£Æ Âò_÷þqêa/Gß$E&´ÓÜ!ÜH¬« ÅÏ½îr„õñFèQæÃ(Hòp' µNËˆ+ìes™ _ß¾MRBCD‰!"

As 9S abruptly awoke in his body, Adam fell to the ground, limbs flying in random directions.

"A seizure?!"

...

Finally regaining enough motor control to sit up and move his mouth, Adam glared at the strange, caped machine lifeform and the hole he made in the ceiling while 2B was busy freeing 9S from the cross he was crucified on.

"You want to know what motivates me? Well, to begin with, I have a keen interest in humanity. Love. Family. Religion. War. The more human records I unearth, the more charmed I am by their complexity. This city is one of many areas I've created out of a desire to understand... _to know_...humans. It's grand, don't you think? Almost... _spiritual_. And yet, it's nothing more than an android graveyard. I seek to learn and adopt all facets of humanity! Some desire love! Others family! Only then did I realize-"

"BLAH BLAH BLAH. SO YOU KIDNAPPED THIS ANDROID BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HUMANITY?"

"N-No. What I'm saying is-"

"I SEE. THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD SERVO IMMEDIATELY. I'LL FULFIL YOUR WISH! LET'S GO AND MEET SOME HUMANS!"

"2B... have I died and ended up in some kind of android purgatory"

"No. And stop wriggling! We have to get somewhere safe before Servo-"

And then a large chunk of the copied city exploded.

"-does that."

...

"AND WE'VE REACHED THE STRATOSPHERE! ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF, ADAM?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA( _H_ _ow has my body not been destroyed from the sudden acceleration?)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GOOD. IT WON'T BE LONG UNTIL WE'VE REACHED THE MOON!"

 _Ending: **[F]** ly Me To The Moon_

* * *

Alternatively:

[DATA CORRUPTION: 100%]

A maniacal grin formed on Adam's face.

"Very well Master Servo! Thank you for receiving this humble machine as your disciple! From this day forth, I shall be known as Cube-man!"

"IT BRIGHTENS MY MACHINE SOUL TO SEE ANOTHER ACCOMPANY ME IN MY QUEST FOR JUSTICE!"

"..."

"9S, **** me."

"Sur-Wait what?"

"I said hack me."

"Why?"

"This must be a visual and auditory hallucination caused by a logic virus, or I accidentally took one too many of Jackass's E-drugs."


End file.
